Marty Floyd’s Weblog

I have experienced stress that I could not seem to shake or “self talk” my way out of that seemed to have no end.

Every turn seemed to be more burden. I finally reached a point where I just felt that there was nothing left in me to fight with anymore. The mental and physical exhaustion reached what is called a “break point”.

I sat in the dark and started to pray. The prayer went something like this. “Why has this terrible situation come to pass? What could I possibly have done to deserve to be here? God, if this is a test, hear me now that I can not go any further. If this is a test I have reached my end. I now turn to you and say please intercede on my behalf.”

Sounds like a pretty low point to experience, right? Well it was. When you feel there is nothing left, that you have no more to endure, that is when you have to turn the situation over to a higher authority.

It was a fairly lengthy process for me. I lost my wife and son, my home, my job and myself all within a short time frame. At that point I cried out “dear God if this is a test I have had all I can bear.” I had done no wrong, had not hurt anyone, had not broken any laws either to man nor God.

I am sure countless numbers of people have had this “experience” and it would test the mind and spirit of the strongest person. Climbing out of the funk is almost unbearable.

At this juncture there is nothing that even makes a “moment of peace” possible. The only way thru the process is in a fog. One day becomes many and somewhere in the fog you accept the circumstances. You come to a place where you realize it really is not about you as an ego. It is about the spirit, the right purpose. It is about the rationalization that everything is either caused by natural selection or accidental occurrence.

The pain and potential growth from it are only possible by the higher spirit. At this juncture you realize that any “plan” you devise for the future must include a few basic concepts. You have to fix the primary purpose for living, you have to devise tasks that can become the goals that you strive for every day on your journey. You have to become a “present minded” person.

So you make your plans, you write them down, you work your plan! You also build a new life. You can write the “book of life” that you want. You recognize, relate, assimilate and apply what you know and what you want at this point in life.

You can not take everything that happens personally. Now you know that you can only control what you think about, what you focus on, and how you live your life. The natural disasters will continue, accidents will happen, and the world will evolve, change and be replaced at some point. 

Make the best of where you are. Think positive thoughts. Be kind to yourself. Rest when you are tired. Be active, exercise, live each day. Watch what you eat and how much you eat. Most of all, realize that you control the world of your inner mind and can make it a paradise! Give of yourself when you can and be happy.

Here we are again counting down the 25 days til Christmas. The big items this year Wii, iPhone, flat screen/plasma TV, Sony game systems, Xbox. Those are just in the electronics category!

There are other big things in the countdown that will be hugh in 2008 like buying up bandwidth frequencies, industry mergers/takeovers by players like Google, IBM, Microsoft.

“The Joneses” are getting pretty hard to keep up with for the growing “lower class” wage earners. Then again, we earn 10-20 times as much as workers in many countries for the same jobs. Maybe it is getting to be time to take a hard look at vanity, what we want to become. Human-KIND is my vote on what we should want to become!

Entertainment and Information, still the big ticket items that involve almost everyone. Ever wonder why there is such a small profit margin on staples like groceries, yet high profits are taken on discretionary items. Real or imagined, supply and demand continues.